Company

Company

   12:17 PM       Qhairel Rafiqi

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Feeling of being left alone and no one's there willing to sacrifice for your sake, it feels, weird sometimes, maybe because of the influences from some kinda romance movies, or maybe life and much more melodramatic thing. Well, in my life, it happen. Right after the end of high school age i decided to keep on low profile and never to mention about my old school any longer, expecting my friends, which is sort of my friend , to feel the loneliness of me not existing in any kinds of social network where they'd also are inside the social networking site. In fact, they felt nothing and what hurt is that the truth is, i was wrong. Even tomorrow my old schoolmates are having a party which supposed to be most of the ex elementary school where i'd also went to and my ex high school which is also went to, to be invited to the party, But sadly, I never heard the news, or invitation given to me, none at all. Instead, i heard the news from my cousin, which is also the ex school of my nightmarish school before, who left the school since he was 14. From that moment, i started to realize that, i'm not the hero in this so called movie of my life, instead, i was the nerd who was being left alone.

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Still Wondering

Still Wondering

   2:14 AM       Qhairel Rafiqi

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Used as a warning sing, if talked in sense might loose my mind, used as a focal point, miss me more than you thought would. Life's as a wanderer searching for whatever we loosed. Have you ever wonder loosing something precious, it feels like loosing your mind, feels as selling your soul to some creatures. it hurts so much than you couldn't imagine .

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Daddy Issue

Daddy Issue

   4:10 PM       Qhairel Rafiqi

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Go ahead and cry lil' boy, i know you got a daddy issue. Take you like a drug, taste you on a tongue. Well you asked me what i'm thinking about, Daddy issue. Nobody doesn't like me though, i've got a daddy issue. My life as a childhood, was shattered since i was born, as if i was taken as an orphan. Imagine how it feels like, looking at my friends parent's, happy when they hugged their child. I never felt the warmth touched by them. 

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Bad Blood

Bad Blood

   3:38 AM       Qhairel Rafiqi

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Step out into the sun, skies above they radiate me. Walking solo, dreaming you were cold. Living my life at the fullest. I was like, a solo, a loner who never had a companionship. It hurts sometimes but soon it'll cure by itself. Most of them are cruel, don't see people trough their age, instead, try to investigate them trough their beings as a human being . Like me, even my privacy was leaked by a 12 years old kids. in front, looks like an angel. but from the back, as bad as a devil. Even my so-called caring cousin could be so cruel. I don't know what they were doing at my back, but knew it was bad.

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The new phase of life

The new phase of life

   10:21 AM       Qhairel Rafiqi

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A very good day world . its been 18 years, Living in this world and it was irrevocably nice. speaking about life , my mind started to think about my desire and most about it about sexuality. by the title about people like us, people never wanted to be born that or this way but what can we do to change it? none. nevertheless we decided to choose the path we think that that's right in which unfortunately , wrong in most of the religions and morality. For me, i accept what i am and hold up to my feelings. sometimes life needs sacrifice , and sacrifice need lots of burden. Some may be , hide the sadness deep inside our heart. And one thing you should know, you can't never change it, Never!

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